This blog is all about people finding their power. But what does that mean? And how do you know if you’ve even lost your power in the first place?

Unleashing your power is really just about making decisions for yourself – and acting consistently with those decisions – to support your true desires. It’s about doing what you want, when you want, to further yourself without that nagging feeling (you know the one I’m talking about) telling you that you can’t – or that you shouldn’t – or any other reason that effectively holds you back. Here are some signs that you’ve lost your power that you may be able to identify in your own life:

1. You Have Trouble Making Decisions

Do you often feel like you can’t decide what you want because you don’t even know? Sometimes we get stuck in our own heads worrying about irrelevant factors that it clouds our judgment. Waffling at making decisions is a sign that you have lost your power.

You may find yourself constantly considering what your spouse wants, what your family expects, what your friends will think, or what would create the least amount of conflict. Eventually, your own preferences can become difficult to hear beneath everyone else's opinions.

2. You Keep Putting Things Off

The inability to act on the decisions we have made – or the ones we think we have made – is a sign we have lost our power. It’s like trying to drive a car that is bucking and backfiring. It makes it difficult to get where you are going. You want a full drive train in gear to motor you along toward your goals. No one ever got anywhere standing still. Procrastination can become a comfortable hiding place when a decision feels intimidating. Waiting gives you temporary relief, but it also keeps your life suspended.

3. You've Lost Your Sense of Motivation

When we have stepped into our power, we feel a certain kind of energy to push forward with our goals. When we’ve lost that, the chip that tells us to “push forward” isn’t working. It can make us feel inactive and unmotivated.

You may have less energy for things you once enjoyed. Your goals might feel distant. Even activities that used to give you a sense of accomplishment may have lost some of their appeal.

Stress, grief, relationship problems, burnout, and many other circumstances can affect your mood and motivation, so this experience deserves compassion rather than judgment.

Still, a persistent feeling of disconnection from your own life is worth paying attention to.

Sometimes your lack of motivation is telling you that something needs to change.

4. You Don't Quite Feel Like Yourself Anymore

Another sign, which can also be related to depression, is not quite feeling like ourselves. The things we used to do or enjoy, or the manner in which we did them, are out of sorts. The pep in our step that used to be present seems to be gone.

You used to speak your mind. You laughed more. You made plans. You had opinions about things. Somewhere along the way, those pieces of you became quieter.

This can happen gradually, especially in relationships where one person's preferences consistently take priority over the other's.

You might begin choosing the restaurant everyone else likes. Then the vacation destination. Then the social plans. Eventually, you realize you can't remember the last time you made a decision simply because you wanted it.

5. Complaining.

Noticing the negative aspect of everything around you is a sure sign you’ve lost your power. When we are exercising that power within us, we don’t focus on the negative things in our lives, because we know we can change the negative things. When you don’t have the feeling that you have control over things in your life anymore, you’ve lost your power. Powerful women feel in control of their lives, because they can control their reactions to change the things they don’t want in their lives. Therefore, complaining becomes unnecessary. It’s just a distraction.

6. Not asserting yourself.

Not speaking up for yourself and the things you want, however big or small, and letting others make decisions for you is a symptom of losing your power. Over time, constantly accommodating other people can make your own needs feel less important. Eventually, you may stop recognizing the difference between keeping the peace and abandoning your own priorities. Knowing what you want and asking for it are key components to exercising your power.

Sometimes these symptoms creep up on us so gradually that we don’t even realize it. We just wake up one day and feel like we’ve fallen down the rabbit hole. Don’t be too hard on yourself when this happens. The most important aspect of combating it is to recognize it. Once you recognize it, you can be mindful of making changes.

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